Tuesday, February 1, 2011

And the Men say.......

Can you believe it is February 1st?  January just flew by!  As many think of February as the month of love, I thought it would be interesting to address one of the many concerns that women of color have about transitioning to a natural hairstyle.  I've found that some women feel that if they go natural, men will not find them attractive.   This was actually a concern of mine before I went natural as well.  So, I decided to actually ASK a few men what their preference was (imagine that!) instead of assuming what it would be.  These gentlemen were more than happy to give their honest opinions.  They were asked to respond to the following:

Does whether a woman wear her hair natural or relaxed factor into whether or not you find her attractive?  Define what IS attractive to YOU.

Michael P, 29    

Here's the thing...the most important thing about a woman (at least to me) is not her hair.  As long as she has confidence and a great personality that comes first.  There are several other factors that go into my attraction that we will not go into 'cause I could write all day.  Just to give you an idea I like a woman who is average height, carries herself well, is sexy in her dress yet conservative, confident, loves kids, and can make me laugh.  She also has to have pretty feet...lol.
Now at the initial sight of a woman all men do a head to toe "check out" because our initial attraction to anyone is based on how they look physically.  We look at the hair to see if it looks nice, we check out the face and body.  If a woman is going to go natural it has to be groomed.  The most unattractive thing is nasty hair.  I don't want to see flakes in your hair.  I'm not running my fingers through that.  To be honest, most men don't care about what type of hair a woman has on her head.  They just want to be able to touch it in the heat of the moment and the +$200.00  weave or lace fronts aren't going down that way.  So natural is a lot better.  About 3 years ago, I saw a woman at a local night club who's hair was shorter then mine and cut very close.  She was one of the most attractive women I have seen around.  I'm all for a woman that does something "different" with her hair then the typical weave you see on Beyonce or other women in entertainment who are glorified as gorgeous.

Taurean P, 28
Not at all; I’m a simple man, as long the style looks good on her and she wears it confidently how can you discriminate? It’s all about those intangibles, with the main one being confidence. It would be impossible to sit here and list all of the characteristics I find attractive in a woman because from a physical standpoint, the list would go on forever and then it would begin to contradict itself.

The truth is all women are beautiful in their own way but what sets some apart from the rest for me is, in no particular order: sensuality, sense of humor, great smile, nice walk, confidence, sense of style, positive attitude, nice skin, and nice eyes.

As you can see from my list, that woman could have a natural do or have some relaxer, it’s really at her discretion. The important thing is she stay true herself and wear it confidently.

Randall H, mid-30's
1) The way a woman wears her hair is not my highest priority in determining whether or not I find her attractive.  I tend to find women with varying degrees of hairstyles--relaxed, natural, a brush cut, locks, braids---all to be attractive.
2) What I do find most attractive about a woman is her confidence.  Having said that, a woman who opts for something other than the traditional relaxed hairstyle appears to me to exude that confidence.  Whether the hairstyle was by choice or necessity, I find it appealing when a woman really owns and embraces a change such as that.

Christopher W., 37

 I feel that a woman's hair is her crown. Her everyday Sunday morning hat. I feel that as long as it's "hers" (grown from her scalp and un-attached to anyone else's natural or synthetic hair) and done when it needs to be, she's good.
My definition of "attractive" are the striking features that a woman carries, and how she carries herself. There is not one thing that makes a woman attractive, because there are all types of attractive women.

Anonymous, 45

Whether a woman wears her hair natural or relaxed does NOT factor into whether or not I find her attractive.  What I find attractive in a woman is natural beauty, be it hair, skin, or whatever.  I don't really care how long or short a woman's hair is, as long as it is HER hair (meaning, it grows out of HER scalp).  I also don't like to see women wear a lot of make-up (actually, I prefer none at all).

Well ladies there you have it!  The men have spoken!  It's not the hair that attracts them, it's the confidence on the inside that draws them.  I want to thank the gentlemen who participated for their feedback. 

Ladies, what have YOUR experiences been with being approached by men once you went natural?

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